Right now one of the biggest car shows in Europe is on and it's about 15 minutes drive away. I've been a few times, the first couple were to look at all the Porsches and BMW convertibles and the concept cars, just for fun. But last year I was 5-6 months pregnant and we went to look for an actual new car since ours was coming to the end of its life anyway. Instead of looking at Porsches and BMWs we looked at Renaults, Peugeots and Opels (yawn). Nice, safe family cars.
We checked out safety features, how easy it would be to get a pram into the boot (trunk for you N. American readers). In the end we plumped for the Renault Grand Scénic. A true family car. It even has a special extra mirror so you can spy on what the kids are doing in the back. It has built in shades for the back windows. It has two extra pop up seats so that you can have seven people in it. (Although seriously, I spent more time agonising over which pram to get than I did on choosing the car).
We ordered it and picked it up in June, when I was eight months pregnant. It was slightly higher than the old car and therefore much easier for my heavily pregnant self to get in and out. When I was eight and half months pregnant, we practiced strapping the bright red car seat in properly.
And in fact on the drive home from the hospital, the empty car seat was still installed in the car. Now it is wrapped up in the attic. I drive our nice, safe family car to and from work. There's no kid paraphernalia in it. Just my laptop case on the back seat.
The world turns. I am dreading the onset of summer. Summer, with its long, hot days, is a time which I associate with being heavily pregnant, anticipating a complete change in my life and my outlook. Final preparations, washing of baby clothes - careful which soap you use! -, getting my bag packed in case of a mad dash in labour to the hospital, attending an evening class on becoming new parents.
Anticipating change was right. I was just preparing for the wrong type of change.
If I could go to sleep for the whole of summer and wake up in October, that would be okay for me.
6 years ago
4 comments:
My husband doesn't understand why it is so important for me to time pregnancy (if possible) so that we don't have all of the same pregnancy milestones at the same time of year as with William's pregnancy. I didn't make it to term, so don't have all of the same associations that you do, but I fully understand even the feeling of getting through this time of year. The first year, in general, was full of challenges...I think because everything is a reminder of what was, and what will never be.
I am so sorry for the loss of your dear Moksha. It really is terribly difficult to understand wy these things happen at all.
Thank you for letting me know that it was ok to add you to my Links. I'm glad that I found your blog.
(((((((hugs)))))) I know the dread, but you will get through the summer days somehow. Promise ;)
(((Hugs))) to you rosepetal. It is a bitch, I know.
Just try not to think ahead - try to stay in the moment. That was something that helped keep me as (in)sane as I was.
(hugs)
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