I'm so sad that you're not here Moksha. My beautiful boy, my darling son. You will never go to school or learn to walk or cry or laugh or get married and have your own children. You won't learn to ski or to ride a bike or come crying to me with a scraped knee so that I can kiss it and make it better. You won't come to snuggle in our bed in the mornings or have a pet rabbit. You won't learn your first words or your ABCs. You won't play with your cousin or get to know your grandparents or your uncle. You won't learn how to play a musical instrument like Daddy.
I am only very slowly realising that you are never coming back. I am only just realising that you left us and that you're not another little boy who left someone else. I am stuck in a bog of incomprehension. I'm so sorry for whatever I did. I promise I'll do better. Please come back.
6 years ago
2 comments:
I am so sorry about the death of your little boy. I haven't been blogging much lately, but hope to start again soon, but I know you have already found some really good blogs of other bereaved mums. It helps to read them and know you are not alone, even if in the 'real world' it feels like you are. You will need all the support you can get in the next several months. I'll keep checking in on you and keeping you in my thoughts. Sending you bug (((hugs)))
A very sad welcome to this sphere of the world. I see from your links that you are already reading some of the best blogs out there. I hope that this process can bring you some peace and allow you to work through some of those feelings that will attack you.
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