So, we have been away for a few days, and I only had access to the internet via a dial-up connection. It felt like the dark ages - I have wireless broadband at home. But it was good for lowering the amount of time wasted on surfing the internet (Kate, I nodded in agreement at your post when I was catching up reading!).
We skied - at last! there is snow in the Alps. I found that my ski pants didn't fit anymore and I dug out a pair of ..... my FIL's ski-pants to use instead! Admittedly, they are too small for him now, and in fact he doesn't even remember them. And they were slightly too big for me. But it's surely not good that they were only slightly too big for me...
But I digress, it was good in that I could ski. I didn't ski at all last year as I was pregnant. This time around, the sun shone, the sky was blue, there was next to no-one on the pistes and DH and I could do something we liked together. But man, I felt my muscles groaning after two days of skiing. I am pretty unfit, which is something I knew already.
The World Econ.omic Forum has been on in Davos and they all discussed climate change and how all the glaciers are retreating. Over here, banks are starting to wonder whether they will extend credit to ski resorts as maybe in ten years the ski season is going to be much shorter due to lack of snow. Wouldn't that be sad? It is after all more of a tradition here rather than a luxurious sport - DH learned to ski when he was four.
******
We finally bought a BBT thermometer and I have started temping to see if I actually am ovulating. I've never temped before. I've signed up at Fert.ilit.y Fri.end and I pore over my current chart even though it only has a few days worth of data. About now (CD 13) is when you should be cheering DH's little guys on and egging (no pun intended) one of my follicles to rupture and release an ovum and for them to meet and live happily ever after.
I did put in some data for the last cycles, notably the cycle lengths and in the last one where I noted down every time we had s*x. According to FF, we didn't necessarily "baby-dance" on all of the right days, just some of them. Hard to say really since I wasn't temping.
And of course, sometimes the s*x is okay, and sometimes it really is forced baby-making s*x. Ugh. I guess it's like that for a lot of people who are trying to get pg.
******
At work I have decided to take on a new role which was offered to me, which will start at full time until I get used to it and then I will drop down to 80% - 4 days a week. The role is in a different part of the company, in a different domain, with a new client and I will be managing a team of several people. All of that is new for me, but I feel fine about learning the actual job content. The only thing which I will surely find very difficult is that one of the team is 5 months pregnant. Ugh. I will have to process and authorise stuff for her maternity leave, listen to her plans about returning to work after her baby is born whilst resisting the urge to shout, "Do your kick-counts!" and stuff like that. I haven't met her yet, but it will all start next week.
******
That's it for the newsy update. I am feeling slightly better today in terms of mood but it has generally been continuing to swing on the low side, even despite the sunshine and blue sky of the mountains. Sigh. This is now what life is like, I don't really hold out much hope for it changing. Of course, if I ever have a living child, life will change, but V. will still be missing and missed. That's not ever going to change.
6 years ago
5 comments:
If you need any help with reading your FF charts, the advisors are really helpful. Of course, you have to buy a membership to take advantage of that feature. Alternately, I offer my brain for picking - a chart-obsessed maniac who would love to put all of her knowledge to work in your favour if required.
P.S. V. will still be missing and missed. That's not ever going to change. True. Very true. I am feeling a little low myself and definately know where you are coming from with this statement.
Ye, I often wonder how I'll really feel if and when I do have another child. I hope all my losses wont taint the experience for the worse.
Glad you got to ski this year, lucky there was any snow left what with this global warming lark! Paris is streaming with virus ridden inhabitants coz its been so mild. A veritable festin for all the microbes in the air, you can just imagine them, "ye baby, nice and warm, let's party!!!!"
Keep positive,
x
P.S: Could you not change your comments to allow "other", pretty please! Blogger is mad!
Ah, Delphi, you may regret making that offer, I will be bombarding your email with questions shortly -ones which may well contain TMI....
Absolutely!
pbI know what you mean about working with pregnant people. My boss's wife was pg with twins (they were born healthy in December) and when he first told me I asked a million and one questions about whether they were seeing a perinatologist, etc. Finally I told him about Ian (I had only been working there a couple of months and hadn't said much prior to this) and told him I'd try hard not to freak him out with my questions. I did pretty well (I guess him being the man he didn't sit and talk about it all the time, plus I didn't see the wife) but was not afraid to give my opinion on a couple of things. (Her mail doc and peri were in disagreement with a couple of things and I said "In MY experience I think I would have...").
Anyway, try to relax with the TTC and stuff. I know, easier said than done. Of course, I could easily get pregnant, I just couldn't seem to stay that way. :( My living kids came before Ian so I never went through a complete pregnancy ending with screaming baby so I have no idea how that would all be.
Post a Comment