I am feeling a tiny bit more human now and I am ready to open up this blog again. However, I'm not sure if I will have the same relationship to blogging as before. I may not write as often. I have been reading though.
From the three deaths that have happened in my immediate family in the last year, V.'s is the worst and most difficult to deal with. V.'s is the only one with no logic. V.'s is the one that changed me (damaged me) in my core and is still changing me.
I got through a psychiatry appointment without sobbing the whole way through today. I am going back to work at the beginning of July. 29th July will bring V.'s first birthday. This has been the worst year of my life by far. God I hope it stays that way and that there aren't worse years to come.
The OB has pronounced me physically recovered from A.'s birth. She would like me to wait for a few months before trying again, for psychological reasons. I'm not sure I am going to follow that advice. I agree about the psychological reasons but not that waiting a bit longer is going to make them any better. I have the huge psychological reason of 35 years old waiting for me in January.
Thanks to all those who have emailed me to ask how I was doing in my blogging hiatus. I've left up the posts I wrote when you couldn't read.
6 years ago
11 comments:
I haven't even read anything yet, but I have to say that I have been clicking on your link every time I read my blogs in the hopes that you were back. I am glad to see you.
Now I will go read and leave proper comments.
You have been really struggling. Understandably. Do know, however, that I want for our viritual connection to be here, offered as what little support it may be. In your first post after you went private you said that it wasn't "nice" for your readers to read and not be able to help. I don't care if it is nice or not. I want to be here for you in whatever way I can.
Glad - so glad - to have you back.
I am so glad to have you back Rosepetal, believe me when I say you're in my thoughts a lot... xx
Like Delphi, I clicked on your link every time I read my blogs hoping to see you back.
I am glad to see that you are up to sharing your blog with us again and I hope that you know how much I care about you.
I've been thinking of you so often, Rosepetal, and am glad that you feel ready to share your blog with us again.
I'm so glad to hear you're physically recovered from A's birth, and I so so hope that your prayer that the worst is behind you is true.
I too have often checked back to see how you were doing. I so wish there was something I could do to make the sadness in your life easier to bear. Know that those who follow your blog continue to stand with you and our support for you, altho from a distance, is unwavering. Please continue to take it one day at a time......
I haven't gone back to read your posts, but am glad you are here again. I know you've been reading and commenting, but it's nice to be able to check in on you too.
I also think you are right that a couple of extra months of waiting TTC will not provide some magical amount of healing. Waiting doesn't always help. And I think you sound like you are really thinking about what is best for you and that is more accurate than a doctors advice (in my opinion).
each day i pass the marigolds in my garden and i think of you and how you are holding up. i am glad that you are 'back' and sharing your blog again. hugs to you.
Rosepetal, I am so glad to see you back. I have thought of you and your family often.
I went back and read what you wrote while you were locked, and I am so sorry for the lonely road you walked. I hope now that you are ready to share it with us again we can offer you some support to lean on.
About waiting to get pg again... my doctor asked us to wait at least 3 months, better 6, but we agreed on 5. This is because there is some research that shows that short interpregnancy intervals increase the risk of premature birth. 3 months is a magic number there, but depending on other factors up to 6 may be in the zone. I know that waiting is bad, it feels like just trying to get through days and weeks and months with no purpose other than to have them go, but I just wanted to make sure you have all the information you need to make your decision.
I am thinking of you.
Oh thank god your back safe and sound! XXX
I have also been clicking on your link each day to see if you have opened you blog back up. Im so happy to see you have.
You have been so much this past year and I hope now can be a change for you all and some really good things can happen.
As for waiting a few more months, when I lost Zak the Ob we had said ' as soon as you are physically ready to try then you should. No use waiting till you are over everything because that will never happen'. And I think hes right.
Hugs hugs to you.
xxx
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