Yesterday was 6 months since A was born. I miss both my boys but often feel like I don't have the right to really miss A. since I am the one who chose to end his life. I just hope that he doesn't think he wasn't good enough for us. I really tried to make this decision in his best interests but there isn't a guidebook (or a doctor) that tells you what to do.
Whether I was right or wrong A., I did and do love you. If we meet again some day, it's my job as your mother to handle how ever you feel about me without stopping loving you.
6 years ago
8 comments:
Of course you have every right to miss him. It doesn't matter how it happens, he is still gone, and you still love him and miss him.
And the milestones don't get any easier.
I'm sorry.
Missing you, A.
you love him and you miss him. that is your right, as his mother, no matter what.
You did the best you could to save your child suffering and pain. I think that makes you quite the mother, and if A. knows anything, he knows that for sure.
Coming from somebody in the same shoes as you, yes you have every right to miss him. He knows how much you love him and that you did what you did for him. I do believe that if we see our children again they will understand.
Of course you miss him, and of course you made the best decision for him you could have under the circumstances. I wish there were a guidebook.
Thinking of you.
He is your son. You broke your own heart to spare him any suffering. Although many mothers can clain that they would do anything for their kids reagardless of the cost to themselves, mercifully few ever have to prove their love like that. You proved your love infinitely and you deserve to miss him as you feel you should.
I did a partiall birth abortion of my beloved daughter at 22wks. I was told she would never live, by not 1 but 3 doctors; all attending nurses and specialists. No one can judge anyone in such a position. I also know that our children are in a place of light, peace, happiness and knowledge. They KNOW our love and do not fault us for decision made in love.
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