She repeats things that people say to her a lot. My sister-in-law is 8 months pregnant and it's tough for her to pick my niece up. She read that you shouldn't blame the unborn baby for anything since the older child will start resenting the baby even before it's born. So my SIL says, Mummy's too big to pick you up.
Now whenever my niece asks to be picked up, she says, "Pick you up, pick you up" (she hasn't mastered the correct use of personal pronouns) and then immediately says, somewhat sadly, "Mummy too big."
When she cries for attention-seeking purposes, she says through her own tears, "Stop whining!"
When she wakes after a nap, you can apparently hear her saying to herself on the babycom "Don't worry, don't worry, Mummy's coming," followed by, "Don't worry, don't worry, Daddy's coming" if Mummy doesn't materialise immediately and - last week, when my mother was over there for a week - "Don't worry, don't worry, Dadima's coming," which obviously made my mother's day!
I should explain that In the Hindu culture of living together in extended families, terms like grandma or uncle are not precise enough. A word like uncle could be applied to many people in the same household. So there are special words for particular relationships, e.g. father's mother - Dadima, or mother's brother - Mamaji, or mother's brother's wife - Mamiji. For my niece, I am Buaji (father's sister) - she manages boo-ji at the moment - and my husband is Foofaji (father's sister's husband). The -ji suffix is to show respect to your elders. With these terms, you know the precise family relationship between one person and another.
Sigh. I am so sad that I will not get to teach my son these things. He should have learned to call my brother and SIL mamaji and mamiji and my niece - his elder girl cousin - didi (which means elder sister - in extended families, the same words are used for cousins as for brothers and sisters). My mother would have been Naniji (mother's mother) and my father Nanaji (mother's father). In addition to all that, he would have been brought up bilingually, with English from me and French from my husband. He would have been quite the multicultural kid!
I guess that we are officially "allowed" to start TTC in 2-3 weeks' time. The doctor-recommended physical wait (4 months) will be over and then it's up to me and when I feel mentally ready. Well, no, I don't feel very confident, but I also don't think waiting an extra 2 months is going to make me feel any more confident. I think the next pg will be extremely tough no matter how long I wait. I desperately want a baby (note the careful choice of words - I don't particularly want to go through the pregnancy bit again even though I loved my last pregnancy - but no choice on that bit) and waiting isn't going to ease any mental anguish. I think a part of my grief for Moksha cannot be lived until I have his brother or sister and realise on another level what I lost in shared future with him.
I was 32 when we conceived Moksha. Now, all of a sudden, I will be 34 in January and nearly 35 - at the earliest - when (if) I have my next child. I have to balance my fear of being too old with my fear of not being mentally ready and my fear of the next pg. It's great to talk about pregnancy in terms of fear, isn't it?
2 comments:
Hey, i'll be 34 in January too!
We waited 9 months after Nicolas died before ttc, but we were also moving/starting new jobs etc. in there. For me it was good to wait a little bit...but i was 30 when he was born so the age pressure was not there yet. Only you & dh can decide when you are 'ready', and you will never be really 'ready', because the fear factor is so high. There are things to do to help a little with the fear (NSTs, home dopplers, counseling, etc) but it doesn't help much. Gee, that is helpful advice eh! Sorry, just being honest. Being pg with Chloe was the longest 9 months of my life.
Cute stories of your niece!
I've just turned 33 and though only two years away from the dreaded 35, I feel I'm getting old. But women in their 60's are having babies nowadays for gods sake, so what are we fretting for! Don’t worry about age, you have enough on your plate.
Only you can decide how long you can wait before trying again. I understand your impatience, I think most women do. But don’t let your age rush you into it, you know it will just stress you out more and that’s not good for getting pregnant as you know.
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