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My first born son was stillborn at full term in July 2006. My second born son died in May 2007. My third son was born alive and healthy in March 2008 and my daughter was born alive and healthy in April 2010
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15 comments:
I wish there was something I could do for you. (((hugs)))
I think I know what you're describing -- feeling hopeless and trapped. It seems almost impossible to cope with.
Right now, think of nothing but your mother and DH. Neither will be able to survive this time without you. Make no plans for tomorrow, or next week, or next month. Wake up and set one goal for the day. A mentally calming goal like listening to a fountain, watching birds at a bird feeder, putting change into a charity collection bucket. Breathe. Celebrate success at the end of the day. Wake up tomorrow and set another like goal. No timeframes, just time to heal.
You don't know me, but *hugs*
I think at least realizing that you don't "want" this is a big step
Rosepetal, I don't now what to say. I think of you constantly, I hope for happier times to come, and I can only sort of know how you feel.
I don't have any advice...i have been thinking of you, worrying about you, and wishing that there was something i could do. Please just keep talking...either here or IRL or both. Cathy & Nick is right about your mom & your dh...sending lots of (((((hugs))))))
I'm thinking of you all the time and I know that your just full of so much sadness atm. Hang in there.
Most heads cant handle a little of what you have been through let alone everything you have had to try and take in.
I wish i could send you some of my 'happy' pills. :)
Take care
Hugs
xxx
I am thinking about you every day. I know there is nothing to say to make you feel any better or different. For so many weeks, I felt like I had fallen out of a boat and was being dragged along by rapids.....I just imagined myself hanging on to DH and getting pulled along. It would take all day to figure out something to eat, and then the rest of the night to just eat it. This is a terrible time in your life....and just know that we are all here understanding, supporting and loving you.
I, too, am thinking of you everyday and worrying and meditating on good thoughts for you. I really, really like what Cathy and Nick had to say. There are still days when I wish that I wasn't here--that I went with him--but then I think about my husband. Be gentle with yourself. We're here for you, we understand and we love you.
I wish I could say something to make you feel better. There are so many people thinking of you.
I am so sorry. It sucks sucks sucks. I sometimes think I have a big target on my back that says "let bad things happen to me". Someone told me "God doesn't give me any more than we can handle." My answer to them? "Bullshit"
Continue to see your psych. Perhaps find a group counseling? Myself, I'm not much for groups but some people really benefit from them.
I worry about you....please know that there are many people who care about you.
I wish there was something I could do.
Much, MUCH love to you.
Rosepetal, I think of you and worry about you every day also. Cathy&Nick are right, focus on your mother and DH and make no plans day to day. and remember to eat. and allow yourself to wallow. everyone knows it's really hard to be you. so let everyone who wants to help you do so. let people in as much as possible (especially DH and your Mum). and write it all out here where you are safe and have support. we all love you and want to hold you up when you can't find your legs.
xClare
Rosepetal,
While I am having trouble thinking of the *right* words to say, I do want to let you know that I am also thinking of you constantly.
Rosepetal, I am so lost for words. My only thought when I read this post is that I want you to know that it is ok to be utterly consumed with grief for a while. You don't need to think about preparing for ttc just yet, you don't need to do anything that you don't want to do. If trying to be ok is exhausting you, then for now, don't be ok. Be a wreck. Even if it's only here. But also know that every day is bringing you closer to the day when you aren't utterly overwhelmed. Everyday finished is a day dealt with and filed.
We all understand how messy this has to be. There really is no other way - so don't be afraid to lean on us. ((hugs))
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