Hospital I

I had my first scare. I say "I" as I am in the UK at my mother's and DH isn't here. After having lower abdominal pain all day, but nothing else as in no bleeding, we called a family friend and neighbour who is a general practitioner. (In the UK GPs follow normal pregnancies).

He felt the tenderness in my lower abdomen and told us that it was safer to go to hospital to get checked out. My mother, my brother and I went to the nearest hospital. Our friend had already called ahead to brief the OBGYN registrar on call.

At the hospital they had my records because.... I was born there! The OBGYN saw me very quickly and was very understanding. Thanks to our friend he had my history and took my panic seriously. I didn't have a scan but I did hear the heartbeat with teary relief. Diagnosis: ligament pain or digestive pain (I think more the latter).

Phew.

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Yesterday morning we scattered my father's ashes in the North Sea. They should have gone into the Holy Ganges in Northern India but we figured that all ashes end up in the sea. We couldn't do it until now as my brother and I haven't been here at the same time since Dad died. It was at sea off the coastline where Dad spent about 45 years of his life. I grew up in an industrial area and the coastline here isn't exactly pretty beaches and white thatched cottages with a sea view. But I thought it was very fitting since Dad was a chemical engineer and spent his professional life working here.

It's the third time I've scattered ashes in recent times. It didn't upset me too much as I really believed that Dad wasn't in the little box anymore. I couldn't help contrasting the large, heavy amount of ashes compared to the tiny sachets of ashes that V. and A. had.

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Had everything gone right with A., he would have probably been born this week. I wouldn't have been allowed to go to full term and his due date was 30th October. This isn't upsetting me too much as I've integrated the fact that he isn't here anymore, the same way as I am, ever so slowly, integrating the fact that V isn't here. I'm thinking Christmas spent with my nephew may turn out to be less hard than I imagined. Of course, this could be true only as long as the new bean sticks around in rude health.

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Many congratulations to Sarah and to Laura!