Time passes

[photo removed]

Here's a picture of Beanie from a week or so again. He's big isn't he? Ten months old next week.

And on the same day, V would have been 2 and a half.

Last week a friend, M, and her son T came over for a little while. T is one week older than V. I visited M and T in hospital two days before V's due date. The maternity wing reception were confused as they thought I had come in to give birth.

I never never would have thought that I would have been able to spend any sort of time with T. He is exactly how V would have been. Beanie and T together - they were just the perfect age gap. But I didn't even find it hard. Oh, I thought about it, but it just wasn't gut wrenching. I have come to a point where T is T and V is V and they are so clearly not the same person.

When M found out V had died, she told me that her previous pregnancy had ended for unknown reasons at 20 weeks. I didn't know that - we had met up for lunch several times during our pregnancies and I didn't know that. It was a girl, K.