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I was so drained on V's birthday that I didn't get online at all. I was especially drained as I went to the funeral of a colleague's wife in the afternoon. She was 39 and died of cancer. I didn't know her at all but I was pretty shocked to hear the news. She leaves behind her 7 year old son and her husband. The funeral was unbelievably heart-wrenching.

In fact her husband was the coworker in underground carpark who said this. And do you know what? When I went to say goodbye to him before leaving, he said, "you know I have always remembered that I totally put my foot in it after your baby died, and I've always regretted it, that I never said anything afterwards." He said this to me, completely out of the blue, on the day of his wife's funeral.

I don't know him very well and I learned through losing V that it's important to be present and to express your condolences. But I was amazed that he remembered this episode and spoke about it on the day of his wife's funeral.

Since he brought it up, I told him that he shouldn't worry about it and that incidentally V would have been three on that day. I told him if there was anything I could ever do for him and his son, even if it was just bringing a meal over one evening (I don't live far from him), he should not hesitate.

I came home, got changed, saw Beanie, then went out again to buy a white rose and left it at V's lake. My SIL and brother sent flowers, my mum sent a card and my FIL and MIL sent an email.

I also remembered Ferdinand, who would have been 2 the same day.

Thanks to you for remembering too.